Kids or No Kids?

You meet a guy. You fall in love with the guy. You marry the guy. You plan on having kids with the guy.
It doesn't work out that way.

You been married for about five years and you've had one miscarriage. You think you're doing something wrong, so you change your eating and sleeping habit. You exercise more, and you've never exercised before. Somethings gotta change right. In the third year of your marriage, you decide to go to a fertility specialist. You start taking pills to help with carrying a baby. Your husband, not so much. He wants nothing to do with this process because it doesn't make him manly enough.  Instead he blames you for being so skinny that you are unable to carry a child. Seeing that you guys already had one miscarriage, it shows that you guys are more than capable of having children together. Maybe its timing that's not sink with each other. Your husband has been married before. His previous marriage lasted for five years and with that marriage, no kids have be developed not even a miscarriage. You start thinking that maybe its the husbands sperms. Somethings wrong with him not being able to have kids his 2nd marriage.

My question is, Would you stay with your husband and live a life without kids, knowing that you both want kids desperately? or would you leave your husband while you're still young and able to bare children with someone else? If you were able to have a miscarriage, you sure as hell able to have kids. 

For Good!

IM BACK!

Ive been away from blogging for about several months due to work and family events. But I'm back and hopefully for good this time.

Infidelity

When talking about infidelity, I get excited to hear how people started this affair or ended it.  Infidelity is such a strong and very emotional relationship. I do not know if I should even call it a 'relationship' but whatever. People who have affairs can be either smart and discrete or stupid. For instance, a girl was a friend of a friend of mine. She has been dating this person for about 6 months. Now I do not know if it's 'dating' or 'talking' but whatever the case was, she was telling everyone and posting photos of them online. Therefore, I guess, you can say that she was serious about this relationship. We will name the girl Stacy to make the story easier to understand. Now Stacy gets bored easily when dating guys, so she made the effort to talk to another guy. The second person went to the same school as I did, and was even caught making out with him in a tutorial room. Fast-forward the story, the first person she was talking to had found out about the second guy. The only way he had figured it out was because he was caught going into her apartment in board day light by her first boyfriend. Very stupid idea. Not only did the first man break up with her, but also the second man ended up staying with her knowing what she had done. Nevertheless, that relationship did not last long. The second person she was with, she ended up cheating on him with her a third person. Come on Stacy, get your shit together! So the question I ask is, is once a cheater forever a cheater? In addition, can a person recover from being known as a cheater? Who would have thought females had this in them.

Long lost crush

At work today, during which my desk was covered with piles of paper work consisting of receipts, I got the sudden urge to lift my head and turn to face the window. As I was staring out the window, I seen a tall black shadow approach the window to make eye contact with me. I think I took the loudest breath out of fear and squealed. After my vision became clear, I seen that it was my high school crush. I shouldn't call it hight school crush cause I still have a crush on him till this day, six years later *sign*. He walked into the building through the doors. Now my desk faces the wall, so he's walking behind me. I dropped the boxes of receipts from my lap and stood along the door as if I was his wife waiting for him to come home for hours. I waved at him as he walked by with shock on my face because he hasn't changed physically in over six years. Still the sexy muthafucker I liked. He waved back and gave me a side smile or a smirk, couldn't tell which one it was but i'll take it gladly. Let me say that during high school, we would hold conversations like normal human being and  he was even in one my classes. It wasn't just me crushing on him while I watched and lurked around the hallways noting how beautiful his face and afro looked. And how well he wore a white t-shirt. No matter what day you seen him, he was always wearing a white t-shirt. Winter through summer. Anyways, he walked off and took the stairs to the 2nd floor. I talked to my coworker to find out what was located on the 2nd floor. Turns out he could've gone inside an eye doctors, rehab facility, or a computer class. Whatever it was, I was determined to find him. I ran inside the washroom, fixed my hijab and replied my lipstick. Now I was pacing through the washroom for about fifteen minutes thinking how I was going to start a conversation with this fine specimen of humanity. About twenty minutes of pacing, I got tired and decided to head back to work. While at work, I did in fact roll my chair near the hallway so I could get a clear shot of him walking out. There was absolutely no way he could by pass me now. He never came out. Three hours of me working and keeping an eye open, he didn't come out.  I guess he did by pass me this time again! I'm deeply sadden by this. But no worries, now that I know his existence lingers around this building, I will have to store my wedding dress in my office incase he asks to marry me any of these days which I will gladly scream yes.

Sorry for not posting anything for the past two days. Been working and surviving on no sleep. Hope to have something interesting happen to me tom so I could write about it.

F.O.B's

I had dinner with a bunch of my friends today and during our meal, the waiter kept coming back to see if we had everything we needed. Nice. Cute. He cares right? Let me just say that he did this about 7 times during our 3 and half hours of eating. At the end of our meal, we packed up the remainder of our food into containers. I had stepped out to the front of the restaurant to grab bags and as I stood there, the owner had the nerve to come up to me and say ' Aren't you *insert name here* sister?'. Um no! Who is *insert name here*? Than he goes on to shake his head and say 'No I meant, aren't you *insert another name here* sister? UMMM NOOOO?! Who the fuck is that? and do I really look like *insert name here* and *insert another name here* that much for you to be tossing both their names at me? Whatever. He then had the audacity to go on and say 'You're beautiful. How old are you? Are you single? Can I have your number?. Excuse me, how about you slow down with the inquiry. Like who's chasing you for you to be throwing all these questions at me? With all the disgust in the world, I honestly didn't know the best way nor the nicest way to answer these questions, so I just yelled NOOOO! And walked out as if I was on a runway.

The nerve of these men to be asking such questions around other Somali grown men. Calm you balls boo. This isn't the appropriate place to be doing such interrogations. If you see someone you like, what happened to making eye contact first before talking to her and trying to maintain eye contact with the person? If you repeatedly make eye contact with someone, it's a sign that she wants you to approach her. Smiling is a also a great way to show that she is interested in you. But instead, they forget all steps and jump to the last step and insist on getting your number. How about I give you my address so you can come up to my house and kill me in my sleep you stalker. Somali men I swear. They live in their own bubble and expect you to adjust to their norms. Specially F.O.B's. First of all...F.O.B's mean Fresh Of The Boat. They are immigrants and this is a funny term for people not up to date on culture meaning you still carry you sense of fashion from your country which clashes with the current  countries cultures. Now don't get me wrong, I love my people. I want us to prosper in life, BUT! we have the most disgusting F.O.Bs ever known to man. We beat any other F.O.Bs out there. We take the trophy. They are not patient at all, and the way they hit on females it just sounds like their threatening you. Them: GIVE ME YOUR NUMBER NOW BITCH! Me: Ok, please don't hurt me.*slowly crying in silence* While writing down the number, let me just tell you that i'm not stupid to actually write down my number. No. Never. Instead I write down my friends number and insist they call me right away. 

I have some friends who believe that Fobs are the way to life. Apparently being born or raised in an western country makes you loose all sense of culture. This is not true. I have culture. I just choose not to show it if i'm not around my grandmother.  Marrying a man who has culture is fine. Marrying a Fob is NOT. He will expect so much from you. He expects you to cook and clean. Do laundry by hand like the good old way's of Somalia. Consistently bring up the fact on how you wasted money on a degree knowing your going to be a housewife. Since your born in Canada, he will also accuse you of being a whore before marrying him and having premarital sex. Most of all, you run the risk of him cheating on you because he can speck in his language while on the phone talking to his mistress as you sit next to him. Sad. Also some Fob's don't have the knowledge that beating your wife is completely and utterly wrong. So most likely, your husband will beat you to smithereens if you say no to him. I wish a Fob would beat me if I said no to him. Bleach would be pouring in his eyes and ears while lighting his ass on fire. 

As you can see, me and fobs will never see eye to eye for anything in life. Keep your distance from me and I promise to keep my attitude and disgust away from you and your pack of wolves who seem to linger around every coffee shop in the GTA. My god. Is it really necessary for them to be wearing a 3 piece suit and a bottle of cologne to the coffee shop? Like what are you guys discussing in there? Anyways I feel like I shared my true hatred of Fobs today. Discussing this topic seems to make my blood boil every chance.  Im calling it quits for tonight. As you can see day two was not much of a success. But at least I tried right? Until further notice take care.

Finding love at 23

My journey to finding LOVE at 23.

This task seems nearly impossible to start seeing that I work every other day of my life. On the days that I am not working, I'm at home catching up on some good old television, or sleeping in.

Why start now? I honestly to god don't know. Maybe because I made the pass 22 years of my life a BIG JOKE. Literally, I would wake up. Sit on my bed, laugh. Go to school, laugh. Go out and laugh some more. I didn't care for guys. They just didn't interest me. Nothing they did really caught my attention. The guys I had planned to date in my head were all celebrities, and were much older than I was.  Some George Clooney, and Tom Hiddleston kinda of fellas. It could also be that my best friend just got married. Let me makes this clear now, my friend is much more mature than I am. She a straight A type kind of gal. She has her whole life planned out, where as I'm a 'go with the flow' type of gal. She met her husband in middle school, and the way he describes it is 'it was love at first sight' for two 12 year old's *rolling my eyes*. But I'm happy for them. More sad that he took my everyday partner away from me. I've slowly moved from being number one in her life to being a weeping number two.

Back to me anyways. I've dated guys. my first ever boyfriend was at the age of 17. Now being 17, I thought I knew everything there was in life. No one could tell me other wise. I was a stubborn, annoying 17 year old. Gosh I was truly horrible. At 17, I got my first job at the airport, and was taking night school classes to make up for the lack of day classes required at my school to graduate. I was skipping classes, attending other schools event during school hours. Just being a rowdy teenager. My boyfriend at the time was a year older than me. Smart, good looking, and over all sweet as a button. Long story short, we  dated for two months and it was over. The reason being,  I never made time for him. *rolling eyes again* I haven't seen him in over a week and I guess you can say that in over a WEEK we grew apart *laughing hysterically*. One thing I do remember when I was with him was telling him how this girl who I wasn't a fan of, had a crush on him, and after we had broken up, what do I see on Facebook?  That he was dating the girl I mentioned had a crush on him. *BOO you whore* Anyways, moral of the story, don't tell the guy you're in a relationship with that another female has a crush on him.

I start my new job as an accountant on Monday, and I'm quiet excited. Hopefully with this job opportunity, I meet a man who is,wait before I jump into that, let me just put my preference of my ideal man out there. I would Like a man who is FUNNY, and I take a man that can make me laugh to be serious, you won my heart already. 6' foot or taller, I like to break my neck when I'm looking at you. I'm not one for race, I'll date any race out there. It would be a plus if they could be British. Love me an English accent.

With that being said. let this first post find you at ease and with great happiness. I look forward to writing as much as I can. Hopefully I will 'Put' myself out there, whatever that means. I literally have to make plans everyday now to meet these criteria. Hopefully all goes well as you follow me on this amazing journey.