F.O.B's

I had dinner with a bunch of my friends today and during our meal, the waiter kept coming back to see if we had everything we needed. Nice. Cute. He cares right? Let me just say that he did this about 7 times during our 3 and half hours of eating. At the end of our meal, we packed up the remainder of our food into containers. I had stepped out to the front of the restaurant to grab bags and as I stood there, the owner had the nerve to come up to me and say ' Aren't you *insert name here* sister?'. Um no! Who is *insert name here*? Than he goes on to shake his head and say 'No I meant, aren't you *insert another name here* sister? UMMM NOOOO?! Who the fuck is that? and do I really look like *insert name here* and *insert another name here* that much for you to be tossing both their names at me? Whatever. He then had the audacity to go on and say 'You're beautiful. How old are you? Are you single? Can I have your number?. Excuse me, how about you slow down with the inquiry. Like who's chasing you for you to be throwing all these questions at me? With all the disgust in the world, I honestly didn't know the best way nor the nicest way to answer these questions, so I just yelled NOOOO! And walked out as if I was on a runway.

The nerve of these men to be asking such questions around other Somali grown men. Calm you balls boo. This isn't the appropriate place to be doing such interrogations. If you see someone you like, what happened to making eye contact first before talking to her and trying to maintain eye contact with the person? If you repeatedly make eye contact with someone, it's a sign that she wants you to approach her. Smiling is a also a great way to show that she is interested in you. But instead, they forget all steps and jump to the last step and insist on getting your number. How about I give you my address so you can come up to my house and kill me in my sleep you stalker. Somali men I swear. They live in their own bubble and expect you to adjust to their norms. Specially F.O.B's. First of all...F.O.B's mean Fresh Of The Boat. They are immigrants and this is a funny term for people not up to date on culture meaning you still carry you sense of fashion from your country which clashes with the current  countries cultures. Now don't get me wrong, I love my people. I want us to prosper in life, BUT! we have the most disgusting F.O.Bs ever known to man. We beat any other F.O.Bs out there. We take the trophy. They are not patient at all, and the way they hit on females it just sounds like their threatening you. Them: GIVE ME YOUR NUMBER NOW BITCH! Me: Ok, please don't hurt me.*slowly crying in silence* While writing down the number, let me just tell you that i'm not stupid to actually write down my number. No. Never. Instead I write down my friends number and insist they call me right away. 

I have some friends who believe that Fobs are the way to life. Apparently being born or raised in an western country makes you loose all sense of culture. This is not true. I have culture. I just choose not to show it if i'm not around my grandmother.  Marrying a man who has culture is fine. Marrying a Fob is NOT. He will expect so much from you. He expects you to cook and clean. Do laundry by hand like the good old way's of Somalia. Consistently bring up the fact on how you wasted money on a degree knowing your going to be a housewife. Since your born in Canada, he will also accuse you of being a whore before marrying him and having premarital sex. Most of all, you run the risk of him cheating on you because he can speck in his language while on the phone talking to his mistress as you sit next to him. Sad. Also some Fob's don't have the knowledge that beating your wife is completely and utterly wrong. So most likely, your husband will beat you to smithereens if you say no to him. I wish a Fob would beat me if I said no to him. Bleach would be pouring in his eyes and ears while lighting his ass on fire. 

As you can see, me and fobs will never see eye to eye for anything in life. Keep your distance from me and I promise to keep my attitude and disgust away from you and your pack of wolves who seem to linger around every coffee shop in the GTA. My god. Is it really necessary for them to be wearing a 3 piece suit and a bottle of cologne to the coffee shop? Like what are you guys discussing in there? Anyways I feel like I shared my true hatred of Fobs today. Discussing this topic seems to make my blood boil every chance.  Im calling it quits for tonight. As you can see day two was not much of a success. But at least I tried right? Until further notice take care.